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Iceberg male

It is wrong to think that pleasure is a reward for hard work. Rather, it is a principle of healthy life.

It is wrong to think that pleasure is a reward for hard work. Rather, it is a principle of healthy life. 

Two sides of the same problem. 

Lack of sexual desire is considered to be a female problem. Although, by and large, for a woman, a decrease in sexual desire can hardly be called a problem: the level of female libido in a relaxed state is already low, as a rule, it increases only in a sexual situation. The man, being by nature the initiator of sexual contact, is always tuned to IT. Unlike a woman, his norm is an elevated sexual mood, and if a man’s sexual desire suddenly decreases or disappears, this is perceived as a catastrophe and pathology. So in the male version of the problem, although it occurs much less frequently, it is much more acute. 

Weak link 

Men, completely devoid of interest in sex, really exist. Most often the reason for this is either psychological or genetic. 

Genetic was discovered relatively recently, it is expressed in the lethargy of sexual development caused by a genetic program. Depending on this program, all people are sexually divided into three groups - strong, medium and weak. In the weak group there is, in turn, a stronger, middle and very weak link. These are the weakest (about 3% of the male population) and represent a “risk group”. A man with a weak sexual constitution, the level of sexual energy is very low. At the same time, a person may look strong and attractive, but, no matter how annoying, such a handsome man will be indifferent to sex life. 

The natural lack of sexuality begins to manifest itself in representatives of the "weak link" as early as adolescence. In this case, a boy under the age of 17 does not have the slightest curiosity about sex, does not masturbate, is completely indifferent to girls, does not meet with anyone under the age of 25. If, in adulthood, he decides to have sexual contact with a woman (most likely, not on his own initiative), the experiment ends in failure. Physical intimacy requires such a man of great tension, which does not pay off. 

Fortunately, such an outcome can be avoided if you notice in time that something is wrong and correct the boy's sexual development in time. For example, if at the age of 14 a teenager has absolutely no sexual interests, attentive parents should be on their guard and show the child to an endocrinologist. If everything is normal with physiological development, you may need psychological measures. The main thing is not to lose time, because the process of psychosexual development is completed by about 25 years, and something can be changed only until it is finished. 

Victims of strict morality. 

Psychological reason.Lack of interest in sex usually arises from the artificial suppression of sexuality in a child. For example, a strict Puritan upbringing condemning the “sinful” interest to the opposite sex. Or the placement of a teenage boy in same-sex environment for a long time (this could be a military school, seminary, etc.). In such a situation, the development of heterosexual attraction stops, not having time to properly form, and the libido is forced to develop outside of heterosexual contacts, acquiring a homosexual orientation. But the tragedy of these people is that they usually have very high moral attitudes, they cannot afford to have sex on the homosexual type (moreover, there are many zealous fighters against homosexuality among them!). Any attempts at an adult age to create a family and to establish a sex life with a woman are not successful, since women have complete indifference in such men. Their marriage is doomed to divorce, although it happens to them even to have time to produce a child. The further destiny of such men is loneliness. After 45 years, some of them may finally allow themselves to realize homosexual aspirations, but the heterosexual sphere will remain closed to them. 

Sexological practice shows that people with problems of natural origin are much more likely to come to normal sex than those (initially quite healthy) who were crippled by unnatural upbringing. No less sad is the fact that victims of unnatural upbringing are much more common than victims of natural pathology. It remains to be consoled only that both of them still belong to the category of extremely rare specimens. 

Lost desire? 

Much more familiar is the situation when a man's normal libido in the past suddenly disappears for a long time or decreases sharply. Here the reasons may be very different. For example ... 

... "nerves" 

Excessive congestion with these or other unresolved problems, more precisely, the associated anxiety, can complicate the sex life, especially if the man has neurotic features. To get out of this situation, it is enough to get rid of fear and irritation. 


Of all the diseases, the most dangerous for sexuality are mental, namely: depression and schizophrenia. They are able to completely turn off the attraction. Disorders in the body such as diabetes, atherosclerosis, alcoholism, and urological problems can also do a disservice. If the libido disappears due to illness, treatment of the underlying disease is required to return it. Nevertheless, the sexual function of a mentally healthy person is quite strongly protected by nature, and if there are no congenital deformities in the structure of the genital organs, organic factors (with the exception of chromosomal disorders and some neurological diseases) rarely affect it radically, the main thing is not to neglect sexual practice. 

... lack of sexual energy 

If a man is capable of sexual life, but belongs to a weak sex group, his desire and potency are generally low. Such men can help a sexologist. Therapy in this case resembles sports training - the patient is taken to a higher level, gradually increasing the sexual “load” for him. 

... age 

With age, the average man begins to dry out physically, it becomes difficult for him to withstand the same sexual load. If suddenly at this moment life makes him too high demands, he can begin to avoid intimate contacts. Here, the desire to "stay in the saddle" is important to combine with a reasonable and realistic approach to business. 

... and just a temporary difficulty 

It also happens that a man is healthy, sexual function is in perfect order (that is, an erection, orgasm and ejaculation pass without disturbances), and the sexual desire is gone. If you only lack it, then the sexual energy “leaked” in another direction (too much enthusiasm for work, unfulfilled dreams, unsatisfied sexual fantasies). 

This can happen during the experience of various internal crises, the so-called growth crises, or during the passage of difficult stages in the matrimonial life. In such situations, a weakening of the libido should be considered as a temporary difficulty that can be dealt with independently or with the help of a psychologist. 

By the way 

The term "frigidity" used to denote any sexual problems in women. Just as the term "impotence" was applied to male problems in the genital area. Official medicine already 30 years since abandoned these offensive and, in fact, meaningless labels. The absence or reduction of sexual desire in science is called alibidemia. скачать dle 12.1

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