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Features of corporate insanity

Japanese firm Maeda Corp. forced the staff to make the same haircuts. The administration is motivated by environmental concerns.
Japanese firm Maeda Corp. forced the staff to make the same haircuts. The administration motivates this by caring for the environment: they say that employees use hair dryers less often and also consume less shampoo and water. Other creators of corporate insanity are not far behind the Japanese bureaucrats. 

In the spring of last year, the entire Internet circled the story of a former employee of a major consulting company located in Moscow. The girl spoke about the masterpieces of local corporate rules, which shocked her and all her colleagues. The first thing that alerted the new employee was a 50-page set of these rules, which she was given on the first working day. 

She learned from a bulky allowance that it is forbidden to communicate with colleagues on non-professional topics even outside the office during off-hours, that ladies are recommended to wear strict dark suits and black business briefcases, and only top managers can use the elevator in the eight-story building. 

In the terrible heat, employees were obliged to come to work in closed shoes and clothes, despite the fact that the air conditioners in the building did not work. The “caring” leadership solved the problem in an original way: office workers were offered to go down to the cool basement from time to time! 

It was forbidden to eat or even drink plain water at the workplace; one young man was fired for biting drying at his desk. 

Stormy responses, which caused the story, showed that the case is not unique. It turns out that in some firms the dress code is thought out down to underwear. One can only guess how to check compliance with these rules. Employees of large financial corporations complained that the management of the company obliges them to wear clothes, shoes and accessories of certain brands. The corporate ethics guide included a list of expensive branded stores that recommended that employees update their wardrobe. No one cared whether the clothing of these brands matched their tastes, and whether they considered it expedient to lower round sums in boutiques. 

It is ridiculous: one private entrepreneur, the head of a company selling Dutch cream and cheese, ordered all the employees of his company to wear wooden Dutch shoes. In his opinion, this was how a suitable coloring was created inside the company, contributing to an increase in turnover. And it's not even that walking in Dutch clogs is not very convenient. And the fact that the firm was located in Thailand, and most of its employees were Thais with a characteristic Asian appearance. 

It is not a secret that many large companies make applicants for a position pass a lie detector test, arguing that they fear industrial espionage. The motivation is understandable, but how do people feel who are asked questions at the interview after having pasted them over with sensors? Compliance with corporate secrets, too, is sometimes brought to the point of absurdity: the employees of some firms are strictly informed that it is forbidden to talk about work affairs even in the family circle! And the truth: you never know where an enemy agent can go. 

Attempts to make a friendly team out of the employees of their company also do not always benefit. For example, what would you say about the “voluntary-compulsory” corporate events on the eve of the New Year or the Eighth of March, which take place outside the city, with an overnight stay, and on which it’s forbidden to take husbands and wives same firm)? Perhaps such close communication with colleagues strengthens the team, but hardly strengthens marriages of family workers. 

A funny way to strengthen relationships in a team chosen by the heads of Singapore. In one of the local firms introduced a mandatory coffee break. All employees "on call" throw any cases and begin to drink coffee and lively chatting. Exactly six minutes later, another bell sounds — and then the white-collar workers should leave the coffee cups, stop the conversations that have begun, and return to work immediately. 

Another entertainer chef, this time from the UK, was told by a production psychologist that people are perfectly relaxed by talking about children and pets. Now, the employees of this trading company in every glider are poisoning stories about their offspring, cats and dogs. 

A striking example of corporate humor is the morning five minutes in one company, in which everyone has to tell a joke or a funny story. The fact is that the company has a very large staff turnover. Every three months the state is completely updated. Apparently, the authorities are trying to distract personnel from what is happening at work with anecdotes. What can I say - a wise decision! 

Approximately the same wit showed the leadership of the company from the United States. The administration could not wean the employees from rude and obscene jokes in the office. To stop the flow of vulgarity, the authorities obliged all subordinates to contact their colleagues exclusively "Sir" and "Meme." Needless to say, after that the indecent jokes became only more piquant. In a word, it's not for nothing that corporate ethics experts convince executives: the main thing is to show a sense of proportion and not lose touch with reality. But, apparently, their call is rarely heard. 

Text: Yana Filimonova
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